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Question and Answer

Both my wife and I grew up in Christian families, and know what it means to have parents who loved God and loved us. My adult daughter was raised in what I always felt was a godly home. She was active in church, Sunday school and youth groups, and was actually a real leader. She graduated high school and went to a private college, not a Christian school. Somewhere along the way, she seems to have been caught up in a secular lifestyle. In her junior year, she decided to live off campus, and is now living with a boy she met in one of her classes. She wants to come home and stay for the weekend with him. They insist on sharing a room. We love our daughter, but their sleeping arrangements go against everything we stand for. How do we handle this?

Many reading this are weeping empathetically. They've walked this road, or are walking it now. Their own children were or are disobedient to the Word, somehow siding with the world which believes their conduct is totally acceptable——they say it's simply a difference of opinion. But it's not. It is sin. The values you tried to instill in your daughter somehow have been set aside and replaced with the mantra of this world's system.

None of us wants to close off our relationship with our adult kids——and we don't have to. While we may separate ourselves from their lifestyles, we want to include them in our lives. But you can't allow them to sleep together under your roof, whether it's a daughter living with a young man, or a son who has chosen to have a homosexual relationship with a friend. You accept and love them, but you don't bow to their insistent wishes to compromise your own values by allowing them to sleep together in your home. I think they should know they are invited to come to your home for dinner and regular family gatherings.

Your daughter already knows you don't condone her relationship with her boyfriend, but she also needs to know that she is loved and can always come home to visit, even with her boyfriend.

BY C. Donald Cole

C. DONALD COLE hosted Moody Radio’s Open Line for 26 years before retiring in 2008. Before joining the team at the Moody Bible Institute in 1971, Pastor Cole and his wife, Naomi, served the Lord as missionaries in Angola from 1948 until 1966. Pastor Cole then served as a faculty member of Emmaus Bible College of Dubuque and as editor of Interest magazine.

Pastor Cole authored several books, and was married to his wife Naomi for 65 years before he went home to the Lord in 2012.

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